Friday, July 26, 2013

I Do Not Love Uranus

I Do Not Love Uranus

(C) Barry Arthur, 2013

It waters my eyes and stings my nose;
Chokes my throat and curls my toes.
I turn my head and close my mouth,
But it's too late! I've a lungful now.

Oh, I love,
Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars;
The moon above and all the stars.
Any planet you could name us;
But I do not... Love your anus.

You blame it on the neighbour's cat
But he stopped visiting ages back.
It's like I'm living with a bloated cow -
There must be something wrong with that bowel!

Oh, I love,
Anything fast and loud and hot;
Ridden or driven or flown or shot.
Planes and trains and bikes and cars;
But I don't love your stinky arse!

You blame it on the prunes and beans.
And it's not your fault; And I'm being mean.
That it's the microbes in your gut
That give you such a manky butt.

Oh, I love,
Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars;
The moon above and all the stars.
Any planet you could name us;
But I do not... Love your anus.
Oh I do not... Love your anus.
No I do, do not... Love your anus!

Yeah...!

(condolences to the flatulent)