Friday, July 26, 2013

I Do Not Love Uranus

I Do Not Love Uranus

(C) Barry Arthur, 2013

It waters my eyes and stings my nose;
Chokes my throat and curls my toes.
I turn my head and close my mouth,
But it's too late! I've a lungful now.

Oh, I love,
Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars;
The moon above and all the stars.
Any planet you could name us;
But I do not... Love your anus.

You blame it on the neighbour's cat
But he stopped visiting ages back.
It's like I'm living with a bloated cow -
There must be something wrong with that bowel!

Oh, I love,
Anything fast and loud and hot;
Ridden or driven or flown or shot.
Planes and trains and bikes and cars;
But I don't love your stinky arse!

You blame it on the prunes and beans.
And it's not your fault; And I'm being mean.
That it's the microbes in your gut
That give you such a manky butt.

Oh, I love,
Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars;
The moon above and all the stars.
Any planet you could name us;
But I do not... Love your anus.
Oh I do not... Love your anus.
No I do, do not... Love your anus!

Yeah...!

(condolences to the flatulent)

Friday, July 12, 2013

Vimmers Don't Die

Requiem

(apologies to Cat)
Remember the days of the old #vim?
We used to chat a lot.
Oh, don’t you remember the days of the old #vim?
When we had free time to flirt and we solved all kinds of hurt.
And we lol’d and offered :help
Yes, I do. Oh, and I remember you!

Remember the days of the old #vim?
We used to laugh a lot.
Oh, don’t you remember the days of the old #vim?
When we had seven point three and regex simplicity.
And we lol’d and offered :help
Yes, I do. Oh, and I remember you!
<3, #vimmers. Feed vimgor for me, and remember to take him for a walk now and then. :-*
I was always in favour of kicking cats: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi8vJ_lMxQI